Speaking Engagements: Hope in Recovery and Navigating Life

One of the best parts of living in recovery is offering hope and inspiration to others by sharing my story. I’ve spoken with various audiences in different formats, but my favorite engagements are speaking to others who are struggling with addiction. 

If you would have told me that I’d be giving inspirational speeches to patients at Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation and EOSIS Beauterre Recovery Institute just a few years ago, I would have laughed out loud. But that’s another story and a simultaneously welcome change in my life.

Regardless of the audience, I typically focus on a few similar themes. A constant is sharing a few strategies I employ that have helped me live a happier life filled with purpose and meaning. A few:

• You can only control yourself and how you react to others: Stop trying to control other people. It doesn’t work and almost always ends in frustration. It’s much easier to be happy (and less stressful) to focus on your actions and reactions. Change the things that you can.

• Let go of the burdens holding you back: Drop the resentments, flaws, grudges and shame stealing valuable real estate in your mind. They are keeping you bitter and fearful and stealing your time and energy. Let go. It’s freeing.

• Focus on the things that really matter: Life is short. Invest energy in goals and passions you’ll care about in 5, 10 or 20 years. It’s not the end of the world if the laundry doesn’t get folded, your kid gets a bad grade or you miss a self-imposed deadline at work.

• Learn from the past, but don’t let it define you: There are valuable lessons in our past actions, so learn from the mistakes and move forward. Our failures are an opportunity to grow and become a better version of ourselves. They don’t need to doom your existence in perpetuity. 

• Assume positive or neutral intent: Most people aren’t out to get you. Life is hard. People are just trying their best, so afford more empathy and grace. If someone cuts you off in traffic, it was probably a mistake or because they are late – they weren’t hoping to engage in road rage or ruin your day. Don’t let someone not saying “hello” to you in the hallway ruin your day. 

I’m not a sage elder or a saint. I struggled – and often failed – to embrace these concepts for the better part of 40 years. Now that I’m living with more empathy, grace, kindness and purpose, life seems to be a little easier and more fulfilling. 

And while these strategies are helpful to those who are attempting to discover a new life in sobriety – they’re applicable to anyone seeking to live a life that’s a little less stressful and more focused on what’s important. Cheers to a better life and more peaceful existence.