315

I benched 315 pounds recently for the first time in my life. It’s a feat that less than .1 percent of the population can perform. Close, but it’s okay. Failure is part of the process.

It took hard work and dedication to get my physical health where I want it – six days a week in the gym for two years with a combo platter of lifting and cardio. Day after day with no exceptions on vacations or because I didn’t feel like it. Most importantly, none of it is possible without my recovery.

The practical benefits from training are numerous. I can lift my kids easily. I play with energy and pick up their toys without ache. I tackle life with vigor, not exhaustion. I cook and clean with zest and a smile on my face. I fall asleep quickly for 6-7 hours of REM sleep and wake up refreshed at 5 a.m. or earlier nearly every morning. I rarely get sick. All my health measurements are in healthy ranges. I’m not embarrassed about how I look anymore. I’m confident in my stature and gait. I look and feel closer to 35 than 45. 

I no longer take any medications for anxiety or depression. I haven’t had a panic attack or suffered prolonged debilitating feelings of malaise or hopelessness for many months. I regained my enthusiasm and passion for martial arts and practice twice a week with my oldest daughter. My mind is quick – words I once struggled to produce flow to the tip of my tongue. I write often and read more.

This is what life in recovery has given me. I lost my physical and mental health for much of my 30s. This type of life was not possible under the influence – when alcohol became a paralyzing crutch that impeded my purpose and hindered my ability to perform as a human. The best part of being an alcoholic in recovery, is that it’s the only condition where you are a better version of yourself after diagnosis and successful treatment.

I’m not obtuse. I don’t believe I‘ll lift weights this heavily for the rest of my life. The habitual physical fitness routine I’ve formed, however, will help me live a happy and healthy life full of meaning – not regret – for many years to come.